My Brothers
by HowCouldThisHappenToMe
Summary: A series of oneshots told from the point of view of an OC, the turtles' "sister" of sorts. WARNING: TRAGIC! EACH ONESHOT HAS CHARACTER DEATH
1. My Immortal

**Let it be known that I do not own TMNT or any of the characters. I only own Amelia because she is my OC.**

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He was gone. My protector, the one I could always count on being there. How could it have happened? He was always so strong. His only soft spot was for his family, and even that was safeguarded. He never let anyone know how he truly felt, how vulnerable he really was. How could Shredder have found that, could have used it against him? It just didn't seem possible. He had always been the strongest. I may never know how Shredder discovered that weak spot, but I know I'll make him pay for it. He used me against my brother. _I_ was his biggest weakness. I had always been the frailest of the team.

Rage clouded my thoughts as my tears did the same to my vision. I punched that old, leather bag until my knuckles were raw. Even then, I didn't stop. This type of training had been his favorite. I could watch him for hours and he would never cease until something else caught his interest. I heard the soft padding of one of my brothers nearing me. I whipped out a kunai and threw it at his feet. It was my warning, to stay away from me. I wanted to be alone. Why couldn't anyone just grant me that one wish? Couldn't I mourn my own way?! The others had the chance! Why couldn't I have that luxury?! I pounded the punching bag even harder, my knuckles starting to bleed. I could feel the hot tears streaming down my cheeks. They felt like they were burning, but I didn't stop them. Why bother? They would only be replaced by fresh ones.

Finally, I couldn't unleash my pain and sorrow through my fists anymore. I sank to my knees, sobs racking my entire body. I punched the floor beneath me once, my blood smearing on the bricks. It wasn't fair! I doubled over in pain. It wasn't physical. No, I was in enough emotional pain to take the place. More tears burned my skin and I thought it fitting. After all, Raphael had died in that fire, making sure I had gotten out of that building. It was justified that I feel some kind of burn. Why was he so stupid?! Why did he come back?! Why did he have to die saving my life?! I punched the floor again, my sobs echoing through the lair. I knew Leonardo still stood behind me, waiting. He would approach me when he knew was right. Either that or he would come to me before I thought I was ready, but when I knew I was.

"My daughter," the wise, old voice of my father murmured softly. I hadn't even heard him enter the room. I supposed that was what happened when you were too busy unleashing your rage on whatever was in sight. I shook my head, wishing to be alone. Master Splinter sounded sorrowful and concerned. I looked up from my curled position, hiccupping gasps erupting from my lips. He stood before me and his dark eyes matched his voice. I felt pitiful looking at him and turned my gaze back to the ground. I then felt the hand of my brother on my shoulder. Leonardo had finally approached.

"Amelia, he wouldn't," he started.

"Don't," I hissed, though my voice was hoarse from my crying. "Don't tell me he wouldn't want me to be like this. Don't you think I already know that?! Knowing it doesn't make it any easier! Leo, Raph's dead! And it's all my fault!" By that time, I was yelling. I didn't care who heard. I wasn't ashamed of my anger, of my pain. Everyone was hurting, so no one could judge me.

"No, it's not. You're not to blame, Amy."

"He went back to save me. If I hadn't gotten myself stuck in there in the first place, he'd still be here and we'd be happy. He'd be the one hitting that punching bag instead of me!"

Leonardo remained silent for a few moments. He knew I wouldn't listen to reason just yet. _I_ knew I wouldn't. Rather than speaking, he pulled me into a sitting position and wrapped his arms tightly around me. I cried harder, my tears moistening his rough skin. He remained still as I shook with my sobs. I knew I needed to gain control over myself, but simply couldn't. After what only seemed like a short time to me, he let go and I looked up to see Master Splinter nearing me. Leonardo had backed up to give our father room. Master Splinter gently brushed my short, chocolate brown hair out of my face in order to clearly see my tear-filled, matching eyes. I was the only one of my family who was 'normal' to the outside world.

"Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated," he said with that sage-like wisdom he always seemed to have.

I stared up at him with glistening eyes. His words were true. My God, they were true. They only brought me more pain, though. I knew very well he was intending to comfort me, and I supposed it would later. But at that moment, nothing short of a miracle could soothe me. More harsh gasps replaced my breathing as I struggled not to curl into a ball again. My body trembled as Master Splinter rested his paw on my cheek, my tears dampening his fur. I sniffled a few times, my bottom lip quivering.

"Master Splinter," I whispered, my voice wavering all across the scale. "How long will it hurt?" I was afraid I knew the answer, but I didn't want to admit it to myself. I feared the pain would last forever, that I would never get over my brother's death.

"I do not know, my child. This will pass, but you will always remember Raphael, as will we all."

I hiccupped with a small nod. I understood what he was saying, but that was all I could affirm. I pulled away a few minutes later and stood shakily. My knees were weak beneath me as I walked over to my kunai and picked it up, putting it back into the holster I carried on my hip. I stared at the wall just past Leo, where Raphael's Sais hung unused. We'd found them after the fire had been extinguished, along with what remained of Raphael. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook that image from my head. I stared back at the Sais, fighting back my tears. I would probably ask Master Splinter to teach me to use them. After all, my only weapons were kunai, throwing stars, senbon and my tessen. Taking up the Sais would be a tribute to my fallen brother.

I could almost swear I felt Raph's presence surrounding me, even after he was gone. Even in death, he still looked after me. A small, sad smile formed on my lips at the thought. Raph had always had the softest spot for me, though he'd never say so. He didn't need to. He had always been the first to act if I was put in danger. Raphael was my protector. Now, he'd protect me through the Sais that hung on that wall.

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**-Cries-**

**I feel so terrible for writing these stories, but I was in a tragic mood and, well... these always were my best... please R&R. No bashing.**


	2. Hello

It was quiet, far too quiet. There was no typing on that keyboard, no 'Not now, Mikey. I'm busy' and no 'Hey, Amy, can you give me a hand?' That was probably what I'd miss the most. Donatello, our genius. Now that he's gone, the lair was just too quiet. He was normally pretty quiet himself, but this was too much. Even Mikey kept silent for the past few days. No one wanted to speak, for reason we couldn't explain. Hell, if Donny were still here, he'd be disturbed by how silent it was. He would probably be asking for us tot make some kind of sound. This kind of silence was unnatural.

Mikey didn't speak, didn't try to crack jokes, and didn't go near Don's old work-space. I figured it was because there were just too many memories that he wasn't ready to have flood his mind. I couldn't blame him. I hadn't gone near the work-space either. Raph's disposition was worse than usual. He often seemed so angry that even I was afraid to go near him during his worst hours. I could often find him punching something repeatedly, usually the punching bag or training dummy. Today, he was missing, probably going for a night run to clear his head or picking a mock-fight with Casey to vent. Leonardo walked with his shoulders slightly slumped and his eyes showing guilt. As always, he took responsibility. He blamed himself for not seeing what was happening, for not realizing what our genius was trying to hide before it was too late. Master Splinter meditated a lot more, coping with the lost in his own way. My method of coping was like a mixture of all of them. I spent so much time with them equally that I picked up various traits. More than anything, I wished I had seen it before it was too late.

Damn Donatello. Damn him for leaving us like that. Damn him for not telling us he was bleeding internally. Damn him for leaving this gaping hole in all of us. And bless him for being so strong. He was so caring, probably too much for his own good. Of course he'd take care of al of us before himself. It was in his nature. It was a blessing and a curse. We lost him because he was so worried about Leo, Raph, Mikey and me. Another fight with the Shredder… nothing new. We were hurt, but nothing seemed life-threatening. Donny didn't tell us the full extent of his injuries. I trusted his word, since he was usually the one who told me if he, or anyone, was hurt. I'd never had to pry answers from him when it came to his well-being. The one time he withheld it, he died. How terrible is that? This overwhelming sense of emptiness could have been avoided if he'd just told us in the first place. By the time Leo and I realized what was wrong, it was too late to save him.

I sighed softly and walked slowly through the area of the lair dedicated to Donatello's work. I gently ran my fingers across the keyboard. A thin layer of dust coated the keys, making the room feel even emptier. I sank into Donny's old computer chair, staring up at the various monitor screens. My face was shown to me from ten different angels. I didn't like any of them. The area around my eyes was red and inflamed from crying. My tears still streaked down my face and my lip quivered as I held in a sob. As much as I disliked the unnatural silence, I refused to break it with my tears.

"Donny," I whispered, almost inaudibly. "You've got to be the stupidest genius I've ever met."

I stared down at the dusty keyboard. They hadn't been touched since Donatello died. I slowly reached over and pressed the power button for the computer. The sound of the electricity flowing to it made me jump. I had gone too long in silence. A blue screen opened, with nothing but a single typing box. The computer was password protected, but I knew Donny. I knew the passwords: Splinter, Leo, Don, Raph, Mike, Amy. The logical part of him arranged the names by age, as his heart certainly wouldn't have been able to choose an order. Once the desktop appeared, I opened the last project the two of us were working on. They were better vehicles for each of us. We were going to surprise our brothers with them, or at least until we were forced to as Raph for help with the engines. We'd hoped we'd be able to do it ourselves, though. It was our gift to our brothers.

The blueprints were just as I had last seen them. I place my fingers on the keyboard and began typing in the various figures. The only sound in the lair was that of my fingers punching the keys. A small smile spread over my lips. It sounded a little more normal now. I must have been on that computer for hours, but it felt only like minutes to me. I wondered if Donny ever felt that way when he was working. My fingers flew over the keyboard, removing the dust from each one. Every stroke echoed through the lair. After hours of working, I heard someone nearing me.

"What are you working on," Michelangelo asked.

"Not now, Mikey. I'm busy," I answered, my eyes never leaving the screen.

"Whoa, you just sounded like Don, Amy." I gasped, pulling my hands away from the keyboard. He was right. I had spoken just like Donatello, from the words to the tone of voice. I turned in the chair and smiled up at Mikey.

"Thanks, Mikey."

A smile broke out on his face, the first I'd seen since Donny died. I turned back to the computer, my eyes tearing up. I felt as if Don was still with us while I was working on our project. Maybe he was. He always hated to leave projects unfinished, after all. Maybe Donatello was still working on the vehicles, through me. That thought brought me peace of mind as I began typing on the keys again.


	3. Whisper

The guiding light, the pillar of strength… our leader. My hands trembled as I carefully placed the two blades on their place on the wall. They would probably never be used again. Not for a long time, at least. I saw a pair of eyes in the reflection the steel katanas produced, but they were not my own. Instead, I saw the eyes that belonged to the owner of those beautifully crafted blades. I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing they were playing tricks on me. That image was impossible. My oldest brother was dead, thanks to the Shredder and his damned Foot ninjas.

Leonardo had always been the last person I thought would die. I guess it just couldn't picture life without him there. Now, I had to live it. When we found him, I had to look away. For him to have been beaten so brutally, it was inhuman. Shredder had sunken to a new low. Leo's katanas had been coated in his own blood. I took it upon myself to clean them. I almost couldn't do it, couldn't even look at the blades without the pain and rage flowing through me. The first time I tried to touch them, I had to run out of the room before I threw up. I finally finished the job I had taken on, though. The blades were as clean as they had been the day Master Splinter gave them to Leo.

I walked away from the katanas and into the middle of the lair. My hand tightened around a kunai as I pulled it out of its holster. I had training to do and it helped take my mind off the loss. Tears brimmed in my eyes as I threw kunai after kunai at my targets. All but one landed with perfect accuracy. The one that missed hit the ground with a harsh _clank_.

"Too far to the right," I mumbled, practically hearing Leo's voice in my ears.

I wiped my eyes, removing the tears from my vision, and walked over to the targets to retrieve my weapons. Before I could pick up the fallen one, a dark green hand grabbed it first. I looked up, though I already knew who it was, and saw the red mask around Raphael's brown eyes.

"Drop something," he asked, handing me the kunai.

"Thanks…"

Raph's brow furrowed slightly and I turned my eyes towards the floor. My tears ran freely down my cheeks as I turned away. In many ways, I was glad Raph had been the one to come to me. He'd never been good with emotional words and usually refrained from those kinds of conversations. That was exactly what I needed. I needed to just let my thoughts run freely through my mind, without anyone prying for them. The prying would only make the images worse.

Once again, images of Leo as I had last seen him flashed into my mind. His bloodied swords, lifeless eyes, broken bones and mangled body. My stomach twisted into knots and I dropped to my knees, struggling to hold back the vomit in my throat. I gagged a few times, dry-heaving, before my stomach finally settled. I wrapped my arms around myself and leaned forward, allowing my hair to fall in front of my face. I shuddered as I tried to force the images back again.

"You're a wreck, Amy," Raph commented and I smiled wryly.

I knew that. I knew it the moment we found Leonardo dead. Of course, all of us were emotional wrecks. We just handled the pain differently. Mikey started being more serious, just like Leo had always told him he needed to be. He was still the same Mikey, but he withheld his jokes more. I almost wished he wouldn't so thinks could seem a bit more normal. Donatello worked on his computer and trained more. He did whatever he could to keep his mind busy. Raphael went on longer night-runs, trained harder. He let out his pain through his fists. It was his way. I trained as well, honing all my skills. I felt closer to Leo when I did, like he was helping me perfect my movements.

"Tell me something I don't know," I muttered. Raphael's hand wrapped around my upper arms and he pulled me into a standing position

"Come on," he said and started pulling me to the doorway that led to the garage where we kept the battle shell.

I knew he was going to take me with him on one of his night-runs. I welcomed the idea. Maybe it would help me cope. We ran across the rooftops four hours on end. The shadows hid us well, as they always had. Being outside, in the fresh air, made me think of how things used to be. I could almost picture Leo ahead of us, pulling off the various maneuvers that seemed to defy gravity. It made me feel as though nothing had changed. A wide smile broke across my face and I started to laugh. Then, I remembered that nothing was the same anymore. Leo wasn't with us anymore and he never would be. My breath caught in my throat, choking off the laugh that had nearly escaped.

When Raph and I stopped for a break on one of the rooftops, it had been at least five hours since we'd left the lair. We'd have to head back soon. The two of us were silent, only our heavy breathing in the air. I was thankful to be on the night-run with Raph, rather than in the lair with Don or Mikey. The two of them were sweethearts, but they would try to get me to talk to them about how I was feeling. Raph, however, remained silent. He didn't work for answers. He knew that if I wanted to talk, I would. Maybe that was why I finally broke down. Maybe that was the reason I began sobbing uncontrollably, why I let out everything I'd been locking away. Or maybe it was because I just couldn't be strong anymore.

"That monster," I cried. "He killed Leo. He broke us in the worst possible way." Raphael remained silent as I spoke. "I mean, I thought Leo could handle anything, that all of you could. When we had to live the middle of the woods with Casey and April, that was the only time I thought we'd lose him. Then he came back. He didn't give up. I was sure he could make it through anything after that. But now, he's gone and he's not coming back."

"Shredder's not getting away with it," Raphael answered.

I looked up to see his fisted hands. He desperately wanted to punch something, I could tell. He was hurting, maybe more than the rest of us. After all, he had some kind of rivalry with Leonardo. It was nothing too serious, but it was what drove both of them to be at their best. I wiped the tears from my face, only to see a few had fallen from Raph's eyes. Losing Leo had dealt us all a hard blow. We'd lost our leader, the one who held us all together in the worst of situations. Raph had been hiding his pain, but now I saw it, at least in part. A hard, determined look came to my eyes as I stood. I'd will my pain away, to help my brothers.

"You're right, Raph. He won't."


	4. Taking Over Me

I sighed into the darkness, tears leaking from my eyes. I hadn't gotten a decent night's sleep in days. The nightmares always came, haunting me. It was always the same dream. We'd be fighting the Shredder. Then, just when we were about to finish him off, he'd press a button on his armor. Smoke would fill the room, allowing him to escape. Then, we'd hear a strange beeping, Don would yell that it was a bomb and we'd all run. Then, just before I reached the exit, part of the ceiling would crumble. Mikey would push me through the door, leaving himself trapped. Leo and Raph would have to drag me away, kicking and screaming, to keep me from going back. That's when the explosives would go off and I would wake up. Michelangelo gave his life for me.

I sat up in bed, shaking the images from my head. My tears flowed more, slipping from under my eyelids as I silently sobbed. Mikey had been the youngest of my brothers, though still older than me. It didn't seem fair that he'd meet such an end. I could still remember every detail from the escape. As Leonardo and Raphael were pulling me away, I was able to see Mikey's face just before his path to safety was blocked. There was a smile on his face, like he was glad he'd saved me, but I could see the pure terror in his eyes. It was his eyes that haunted me the most. They were what brought me to tears at varying intervals of time. They were what kept me awake at night.

I walked out of my room, clad in a pair of black sweatpants and a white tank tope. I had expected to be the only one up at such and ungodly hour, so I was surprised to see the soft glow of Donatello's computer. I walked across the lair, my feet softly padding against the brick floor. On the wall near his work-space hung Michelangelo's nunchakus and orange mask. Those were all we could find of him when we went back. I tore my gaze away from them as I moved to stand beside Don. He'd been working on his latest project, something I couldn't begin to understand.

"Couldn't sleep either, Amy," he asked.

"Haven't for the past five days," I answered quietly. "What about you?"

"Same. I've been working on this to keep myself busy."

I glanced up at his work, scanning it with my eyes. A small frown formed on my lips as I realized I couldn't comprehend any of it. I wasn't sure if it was because it was too advanced for me, or if it was the lack of sleep getting to me. I took a seat beside Donny, my brow furrowed in confusion.

"What _are_ you working on?"

"Just a little side project. I won't be doing anything with it."

My frown deepened. Donny never started a project without reason. He must have been having as good a time sleeping as I was. I sighed softly, staring back up at the screen. As much as I knew about the various projects Don had, I didn't know nearly as much as he did. He taught me everything I knew, but not everything _he_ knew.

"That's not like you, Donny," I murmured.

"I know." Donatello finally looked away from his computer screen and at me. When he did, his eyes widened. "You look terrible."

"Thanks, Captain Obvious."

"What's wrong?" For the first time I could remember, I glared at Donatello.

"You know damn well what's wrong, Donatello."

"I mean, you're taking it hardest. If you're blaming yourself," he started.

"You didn't see what I did," I interrupted, my voice breaking.

Donny blinked a few times, but remained silent. He was waiting for me to elaborate. I inwardly cursed myself for speaking out. I knew he wouldn't let me leave until I told him everything. I didn't think I was ready, though. It was too soon. I looked away, fresh tears sliding down my cheeks. A soft sob escaped as the image of Michelangelo flashed into my mind. Don placed one of his hands on mine for comfort.

"What _did_ you see, Amy," he asked gently.

"He was so scared. Mikey was smiling because he saved me, but he was terrified. He knew he was going to die and how. And he was scared. I was close enough and only I saw it." I choked on a sob. "Mikey was always the one making jokes. He could always cheer me up, no matter what. Now, he's the reason I can't stop crying. How ironic is that?"

"It's painful, I know."

I buried my face in my hands, showing my vulnerability for the first time since Mikey's death. My sobs echoed throughout the lair as Donny stood beside me, gently rubbing my back. Michelangelo had been the one to keep our spirits up. He was able to make light of almost any situation, to keep us from going crazy. What would we do now that he was gone? Would we all finally break down? Would we all go insane?

"And that's why you can't sleep," Don question gently. I nodded, wiping my eyes.

"What about you? What's been keeping you up," I asked.

"I should have seen it coming. I'm supposed to think of every possibility, but I overlooked the most obvious one. If I had considered it, Mikey would probably be here."

"So… you're blaming yourself?"

"Because I'm to blame."

Don put his head in his hand, taking his seat again, and I thought I heard him sob softly. I then felt like there was another presence behind me. I assumed it was Leo, considering how I hadn't heard any noise. When I turned to face him, though, there was no one there. I gasped quietly, realizing my head was playing tricks on me. I still felt the presence, though. I thought I was already going insane without Mikey around. There was another part of me, though, that felt like I needed to do something to cheer Donny up a little.

"It's alright, Donny," I said, turning back to me genius brother. "We can't all be as great as Mikey." Donatello looked up at me in obvious surprise. I didn't even know where that had come from. The odd presence behind me felt different, pleased even.

"That sounds like something he'd say."

My jaw fell as I realized he was right. Michelangelo would have said that, for the exact same reason I had. I smiled softly as I finally figured out what the presence I felt was. Mikey, our beacon of hope, hadn't left us after all.


End file.
